I've really been thinking these few days....I begin to realise the reason I angry because of u.....I begin to realise that this year, you and I no longer communicate like the way we used to..Each time we start 2 communicate,we just like having a invisible wall in between us...Looking back at my blog....I begin to miss the times we chatted and laughed together, the fun we had while we were at Genting Trips... And compared to currently, I felt that there was a big difference... Recently we lack of fun, there were no more happiness and less conversations....Just like the missions we had to complete, and I begin to feel that the distance between us getting further and further, and having these feeling really sux....Well, to tell the truth, somehow, I'm thinking that I'm beginning to lose faith in u as a fren.....I don't know y, but I no longer could confide in u like what I used to do......Somehow, this semester, you're like a stranger to me, someone I no longer know... Maybe its just the pressure we're are facing the Degree and u are in the year 2 of Diploma.....I am no longer sure about this.. But one thing i'm sure is that the gap between us is really getting bigger and deeper.... After that event, I don even think that its possible for it to become the way it used to be....As for my apology, honestly I was never angry at u.....I was just saddened of how a friendship could turn out to be like this.....We used to share secret, have a deep talk....Exchange information and others.....But now?? These all no longer happen....As for u changing, I really dun think there's much of a need.. What i think is that u should just become u, the "you" that causes us to be the best friend in the first place.. However, if change is really needed 4 the greater good, I promise I will change too....Lastly.... I write this post based on what my heart tells me to do, and i have no other intentions than to hope that this FEELING among us will be the last.....Because I'm too really tired of it.....If anything i wrote offended u, I'm really sorry.... I really hoped everything would be the way it used to be...
It was once strong and flawless.It was the best.Till it changes with time.Maybe it's defaced.or perhaps it's transforming to a new level.Is it me? or otherwise?Do we really have to change ourselves or even everything of ours whenever we submerge into a new environment?I dont think so.Nevertheless,it shouldnt be my priority already.Ignorance, isnt as difficult as what I've thought afterall.I've the better significant ones :)
有时,我想...知道你们... 是否会和我一样...每当一个人的时候...寂静的时候... 孤单的时候... 忽然会觉得一切都变得很烦...很乱...很困难...但事实上, 问题却来自一个非常简单的问题... 真希望...可以倒头一睡...太阳升起...又是一个带着微笑的我 原来人到了我这些年龄,思想会变得很不同....以前从不烦恼的东西,现在最终 发生在我的身上....还好目前为止...问题不大...还可以自救....算了...没有什么心情再写了...有时,我真的很恨我自己...我是那么的脆弱...如果我答应妳,无论多久我都愿意等妳... 妳说好吗???
Grandma is the only one whom I always spent time with last time.... I used to visit ah ma everyday when I was small....
However, when I gets older, the time I spent with her eventually gets lesser... Although I came back for quite some time, I realised I only met her for 1 times in a month...Maybe lesser.... The day before yesterday, Ah Ma told Mummy and said I did not find her this few week....
She asked why and wondered what had happened....
I don't know how Mummy answered.But,Mummy came back and warned me that I'd better go and visit Ah Ma.....
So, I visited grandma at Saturday.In fact, she's really getting older... I knew she wanted to ask me why didn't I find her, but she didn't...
She just asked what have I been doing these few weeks?? I just smiled and told her that I was busy with 'something'....But actually, I wasn't..... I feel really guilty because I did not actually think much about her....
But on the other side, she thought of me everyday.... She was actually waiting for me to visit her everyday,every week....
But, I did not show up for the whole week.... I knew I should have met her more often as I'm not always in Ipoh, but it's too late to realise NOW as I'm studying at Kampar.... Last time, she used to advice me not to get involve in relationships.... She always asked me to study hard and no girlfriend stuffs....
But now, she wants me to get married....
LOL She skipped the 'dating' process and jumped straight to this stage....
She says she wants to attend my wedding dinner and see my little baby.... She told me which type of WIFE that I should find....
She said NO to ang mohs and YES to Chinese.... She said YES to Buddhist and NO to christian. ( I WILL ignore this. )
She said NO to the lazy's and YES to the hard working's.
LOL....I cannot believe that she's still the cute little Ah Ma that I used to have. =D Honestly, I really want her to attend my future wedding dinner..... I can do nothing to speed up the time and reduce her age....
I just can't do anything to meet her more often.... Time seemed to be so limited....
I don't want her to grow any older.... But what else I still can do???
I guess it's nothing....
坚强
是我 最需要的
不管是现在还是未来
如果不小心跌倒了
我不仅要立刻站起来
我还要比其他人更用力的向前奔跑
我不认输
我不服输
最重要的是……
我不会输
这就是我
直接
是我最向往的
也许 你说我太冲动
也许 你说计划很重要
对我来讲
计划往往赶不上变化
从心底说出来不经修饰的话
才是最真挚的
也才是最能打动人心的
我喜欢单刀直入
这就是我
别把天真无知的字眼套在我身上
我不无知，也不天真
如果我要
我可以比任何人都成熟
只是感叹这个世界已经太复杂
想事情的时候从简单的角度出发
不好吗？
何必再把这个世界复杂化？
我不是想象中的傻
只是想让所有事情都变得单纯吧！
难道我错了吗？
无论如何
这就是我
就算失去一切
我还是我
Finally I'm back here to blog. XDTime flies and times were pretty good after I came back here to blog....Solved my problem and made everything clear....I have chosen what I want as I can see I don't really stand an important position anymore...It wasn't that hard for me although it hurts a little.....Cause time just heals everything...=DThese three weeks were really really bad... I did not enjoyed myself to the max and became the King of slacker...LOL...I went to parade yesterday, went out to the park during the midnight....Played stupid games with a bunch of monkeys, but seriously....It was so so so so fun!!!!Pepsi Cola rawks lor my god....Got back to house at around 2am....Daydreaming for a while before I felt sleep....This morning I went to "Fu Shan" for dim sum with my grandparents!!!Damn full lor...It was quite expensive actually, but honestly, the food was great.....thumbs up!=DTimes were really really bad these few weeks, but don't know why, my previous feelings came back again....From no where. =.='' Alah~!!!I just don't feel like talking about this.So, sad!
Everything is just out of control.Everything.Even my feeling, I know...I cannot control it well.It is weird.Am i really too innocent?Or...This world is the way too complicated?I feel pain.P.A.I.NFor a long time never try such a pain.I got lost in a maze.Anyone willing to get me out from here?Confuse...Who can tell me what is wrong and what is right?I got the right to choose my own friends.And I should emphasize that this is my own business.Rumors?Gossip?Scandal?Who cares?Just let it be.Nobody will understand the situation more than I do. =)and....Please~I just want a simple life =)
有一种女孩子在陌生人面前会很安静，很冷漠，
在熟人面前却很放肆，很霸道，
并 喜欢一咋一呼的说：“滚，滚蛋，坏蛋，笨蛋”。
不要认为她很粗鲁，
她 只是很单纯的认为，
大家打打闹闹，骂骂笑笑
，表示更亲切，更不分你我。
这一种女孩子不谈恋爱
，只在姐妹间游荡
即使有不错的朋友，
她 还是无奈的笑笑
其实她只是在不能确定自己付出的前提下
不 会接受，因为不想伤害。
这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时，
也 会幻想，也会羡慕，
幻想着将来自己的恋爱 该是多么的帅气，
多 么的温柔，多么的甜蜜 这一种女孩子，
喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹，大呼小叫。
即 使没有男朋友，
在她的世界里，也有她的骄傲！
这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁，
朋友问她怎么了
她也只会说没事
其 实她只是感觉累了，
她只是需要一个拥抱。
这种女孩子不会轻易恋爱，
恋 爱了一定会好好珍惜。
她会骄傲的拉着他的手大街小逛，
不要认为她放肆，
她只是答应过姐妹们幸福要大家一块分享。
这 样的女孩子恋爱的时候
喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮，耍赖。
不要认为她太小气，蛮不讲理，
其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少！
这 样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事，
她 一定会狠心的离开你。
不要怪她太绝情，
她其实很爱你，
但 是卑微的爱情她不要，
她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水！
这 样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好，
大声的笑，放声的闹。
当姐妹心疼的说：“你没事吧？”
她会放下她所有的骄傲，趴到姐妹怀里哭。
哭完了，苦笑一声：
没想到我还会为一个男的哭。
若你遇到了这样的女孩，
如果你们是朋友
，请原谅她平日的不理不睬，
其实她只是不会社交，不敢打扰，
你想想你的每一次邀约，她拒绝过你。
如果你喜欢上她，
请 你不要说出来，
因为她很幼稚，
你会吓跑她。
原 谅她的冷漠， 她只是怕伤害你！
若她喜欢上你，
请你不要在她的世界里消失。
她 没有更多的要求
，不会打扰你的生活。
她只是想静静的看着你，
当你的观众，仅此而已。
如果你们已经在一起了，
请你好好珍惜她。
这样的女孩子、太傻，
请你别让她受伤。
这一种女孩子就以这样的方式生活着，
她有她的梦想，她的希望。
一 个如花儿般的女孩子，
她时而快乐，时而忧伤；
时而郁闷，时而疯狂；
时而邪恶，时而善良；
时而脆弱，时而坚强！
你可以说她傻，也可以骂她笨，也可以说她冷，
但是她们还是生活在自己的世界里，
希望做一个幸福、善良的孩子！
Time flies fast....Here come the end for the 3rd sem & it is the last sem of my university foundation life.....It's maybe the last month for me at Kampar....Well,I try to express my feeling here...Hmm....Time is on of our greatest asset and in this fast moving competitive world....However today I still remember the view of 1st semester when I was having my 1st 5min presentation...
So there was the night before,in the living room talking to the wall...Abit strange you might think and you'd probably right...But I was getting ready for the next day,you see...The wall was the interviewer and I was trying out all my question and answer on it.....I'm not sure that what the writer of the article had in mind when expert said:"Rehearse the situation with a friend",but it seem like a bad idea to me....Anyway...It was all abit of waste of time really...I overslept the next morning and by the time I go there my mind was blanked...LOL....The funnest thing happen in my 1st semester....
Last sem....Was the worst semester for me....I did enjoy too much after my 1st semester and it affect my result of that term.....Well god bless me...its pass in overall CGPA....So forget about it....As long as I knew and I change my attitude for my study in this sem now onward....Huhu.....3rd sem...In this sem alot thing happen.....Thing happen that I forced to change my life and ILTI examination keep looking for me....Which I only can say sorry to those I abandon and for my group....But lucky all I have in this semester was a strong group, a strong group which organize by KamYeen,Shermaine,Felix & Jia Wen....This group is the best group which I had never meet before in last 2 semester....This group wake me up and make me realise....Teamwork is necessary in a group....And finally I found the group which I really can rely and depend on them....The thing I learn this semester is spirit of the friendship & teamwork.....Which I hope it can last forever....At last....I wanna to say....It's been an honor serving with you all....Thank you my group member...
Weird question:
Sometime I asking myself....What is human?
At last I got my answer and conclusion....Human are a primitive and violent race...(Were we so difference?)Human are a young species,they have much to learn...But I have seen goodness in them...Freedom is the right of all sentient beings....
P/S :I know that is a sacrifice....But a necessary sacrifice to bring peace... and I will be hiding aside,but watching over you all in secret,waiting & protecting...I have witnessed you all capacity for courage...and though we are worlds apart,like us there is more to them than meets the eye....
One night,not so long ago....As mum was drifting off to sleep the phone rang....It was a 19 years old boy,who is studying at University in Utar,Kampar calling to say that he had too much of stress and he had been wandering around the city ever since,not knowing what to do...she told him back to home tomorrow....He arrived looking a wreck but after a good sleep and some home cooking,he began to feel his old self again....The next afternoon he told me more n more n more....A moment arrived when she couldn't help asking herself..."should I be hearing of this?"....It wasn't that she was shocked....The boy reminded her of herself in her own student years,but with 1 important difference....She would never ever have confided in her parents this way....Girls we knew then were fairly open with their mothers,but none of my male contemporaries would ever have admitted asking their mothers for advice...Despite all our talk about how important it was for a men to let down their defences and learn how to express their feelings, most of us still secretly felt that any man who depended on his mother too much was a bit of a mummy's boy....However,mother can expect to be relied on almost indefinitely for the type of advice that call on her experience of the outside world...A generation ago,it was accepted that son would eventually leave their mothers to join the world of men and work....Mothers put their 18years in and then opened the door to allow their sons to move into jobs for life....But things don't work that way anymore....In a world of short-term contract,downsizing and redundancy...Even the most promising and ambitious of our children will go through many career highs and lows during their twenties and whenever they hit those depths, many of them will return to the nest...A typical son will continue to be at least partly dependent on his mother well past the age of 18....Many of her friends are surprised at this reluctance of their 20-something sons to break away....But always remember this "Mums have always been easier to talk to,they are more cuddly than their father and son realize early on that their mother are more accepting of human frailty.."They are also better able to see through the mask of apparent self confidence...When the boy was growing up,mother always maintained a fairly invincible front...The boy early imaginary play involved sieges,ambushes and surprise attacks...She starting point,though was always a danger against which the boy needed to defend himself and yet the boy used the game to convince himself that "I could PREVAIL..."When the boy got older and had to go to University with other teenager...All too often there were situation in which she didn't....Mother had to teach the boy how to put put new defences so that his rougher classmate would not see his weaknesses....In the boy teens,his mum used many of these same tricks to keep him at a bay...If his mum drop him anywhere to meet his friends, the boy insisted her to drop him off out of sight of where they were waiting...But occasionally,a confidential mood would come over him and he would tell her whatever happened to be on his mind....A friends told her too...Now a days sons will tell mum more than their fathers told their mother,because mother have brought us up to do so....Our norm has been to empathize with children when they tell parent about their actions or feelings, whereas the previous generation tended to be shocked...And there is another important change...Most of mother took pains to reassure their son that it was okay for them to show physical affection or cry when they were upset...If the boy are not so anxious now about showing their emotion,mother efforts in this are have not been in vain...This seems to be backed up by research,which shows that boys call their mothers on their mobile phones more than anyone else....But don't assume that girls are any tougher than boys....Daughter need their mothers too....Certainly I know how much my sister need my mother...But this continuing mother-daughter bond is something that I expected....What mother didn't anticipate was for the same thing to happen to his son....She assumed she would lose him,just like all the experts said....It maybe that they were wrong all alone that the sons have always confided in their mothers and just made sure that no one else knew.....Have mother stumbled on motherhood's best kept secret?? Even if she have...It doesn't diminish her sense of wonder....It still like getting a present to her which never expected...She= The MotherHim= The boyBy:Terrance Tan
I've really been thinking these few days....I begin to realise the reason I angry because of u.....I begin to realise that this year, you and I no longer communicate like the way we used to..Each time v start 2 communicate,we just like having a invisible wall in between us...Looking back at my blog....I begin to miss the times we chatted and laughed together, the fun we had while we were at Genting Trips... And compared to currently, I felt that there was a big difference... Recently we lack of fun, there were no more happiness and less conversations....Just like the missions we had to complete, and I begin to feel that the distance between us getting further and further, and having these feeling really sux....Well, to tell the truth, somehow, I'm thinking that I'm beginning to lose faith in u as a fren.....I don't know y, but I no longer could confide in u like what I used to do......Somehow, this semester, you're like a stranger to me, someone I no longer know... Maybe its just the pressure we're are facing the Degree and u are in the year 2 of Diploma.....I am no longer sure about this.. But one thing i'm sure is that the gap between us is really getting bigger and deeper.... After that event, I don even think that its possible for it to become the way it used to be....As for my apology, honestly I was never angry at u.....I was just saddened of how a friendship could turn out to be like this.....We used to share secret, have a deep talk....Exchange information and others.....But now?? These all no longer happen....As for u changing, I really dun think there's much of a need.. What i think is that u should just become u, the "you" that causes us to be the best friend in the first place.. However, if change is really needed 4 the greater good, I promise I will change too....Lastly.... I write this post based on what my heart tells me to do, and i have no other intentions than to hope that this FEELING among us will be the last.....Because I'm too really tired of it.....If anything i wrote offended u, I'm really sorry.... I really hoped everything would be the way it used to be...
朋友与爱情你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，但是，又不属于友情、爱情、亲情中的任何一种，彼此不能成为男女朋友，只能做个特别的朋友……为了什么原因你们没能在一起？也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。也许是为了自己的前程，不能承诺。也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待。也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。，彼此仍能找到塌实的感觉，仍然会保持不隶属任何一种感情的关系。但是彼此心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心因为有了彼此，心里总是被幸福塞的满满的……。即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。彼此有喜欢的人，口头上会说不吃醋，心里却会觉得胃疼……对方遇到困难时，会尽全力伸出援助之手，不会计较谁又欠了谁。对方生病了，会缴尽脑汁找药方，恨不得变成护士，陪伴在身旁……他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。每个人这辈子，心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。你宁愿这样关心他，宁愿这样关心对方的心情，总好过彼此生活在一起受伤害……总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会 吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了，常常觉得惋惜，可惜一些本来很好的友情，最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步很多的感情，都败在了现实的面前……友情可以演变成为爱情，爱情最终进化成为亲情，彼此就将友情直接进步到亲情……人 生不过百年……能牵手的时候，请别只是肩并肩，能拥抱的时候，请别只是手牵手，能在一起的时候，请别轻易分开，能成为红 颜知己，请别刻意离开！珍惜彼此之间塌实的感觉因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好。也是可惜，也是遗憾！但还有没有可能是另一种情况。~不一样的朋友~
Finally the scary week pass.....Last week after my mum operation I was elated...
'I rang round just about everyone I could think of,' I laugh...But the next day I felt nothing....I had no inclination to get out of bed and face the constant pressure...Despite my sudden disillusionment,I continued to persevere and was the brain behind a new 'way' to solve it....
But,exceptionally,in my case,I had already been looking for an escape route...'Sure it was nice but the days were ridiculous if I still stubborn'....I felt I should have been carefree at these age but the burden of responsibility was enormous...and.....I felt trapped.....I forced myself to stay on for another few week,but then nervously asked for a sabbatical.....
I admit to being a perfectionist, an attribute which saw me rise through the ranks in no time...But I realise it is a weakness too....Now I feel that like I committed 'suicide' by opting to continue my pathway...
'Izit I did wrong decision this time??' I asked myself....Yet the result show me negative.....I had to leave my 'Computer Day' to take care of my mum but would come online late in a hour.It made no difference....My dad still simply alienated me....
Few years,I had to acted like an ordinary boy which just work under their order....Now I really pissed off to them....But at the same time....I still don know izit I'm the 1 who stubborn?Or they are the 1 who really stubborn....
