I've really been thinking these few days....I begin to realise the reason I angry because of u.....I begin to realise that this year, you and I no longer communicate like the way we used to..Each time we start 2 communicate,we just like having a invisible wall in between us...Looking back at my blog....I begin to miss the times we chatted and laughed together, the fun we had while we were at Genting Trips... And compared to currently, I felt that there was a big difference... Recently we lack of fun, there were no more happiness and less conversations....Just like the missions we had to complete, and I begin to feel that the distance between us getting further and further, and having these feeling really sux....Well, to tell the truth, somehow, I'm thinking that I'm beginning to lose faith in u as a fren.....I don't know y, but I no longer could confide in u like what I used to do......Somehow, this semester, you're like a stranger to me, someone I no longer know... Maybe its just the pressure we're are facing the Degree and u are in the year 2 of Diploma.....I am no longer sure about this.. But one thing i'm sure is that the gap between us is really getting bigger and deeper.... After that event, I don even think that its possible for it to become the way it used to be....As for my apology, honestly I was never angry at u.....I was just saddened of how a friendship could turn out to be like this.....We used to share secret, have a deep talk....Exchange information and others.....But now?? These all no longer happen....As for u changing, I really dun think there's much of a need.. What i think is that u should just become u, the "you" that causes us to be the best friend in the first place.. However, if change is really needed 4 the greater good, I promise I will change too....Lastly.... I write this post based on what my heart tells me to do, and i have no other intentions than to hope that this FEELING among us will be the last.....Because I'm too really tired of it.....If anything i wrote offended u, I'm really sorry.... I really hoped everything would be the way it used to be...
It was once strong and flawless.It was the best.Till it changes with time.Maybe it's defaced.or perhaps it's transforming to a new level.Is it me? or otherwise?Do we really have to change ourselves or even everything of ours whenever we submerge into a new environment?I dont think so.Nevertheless,it shouldnt be my priority already.Ignorance, isnt as difficult as what I've thought afterall.I've the better significant ones :)
有时,我想...知道你们... 是否会和我一样...每当一个人的时候...寂静的时候... 孤单的时候... 忽然会觉得一切都变得很烦...很乱...很困难...但事实上, 问题却来自一个非常简单的问题... 真希望...可以倒头一睡...太阳升起...又是一个带着微笑的我 原来人到了我这些年龄,思想会变得很不同....以前从不烦恼的东西,现在最终 发生在我的身上....还好目前为止...问题不大...还可以自救....算了...没有什么心情再写了...有时,我真的很恨我自己...我是那么的脆弱...如果我答应妳,无论多久我都愿意等妳... 妳说好吗???
Grandma is the only one whom I always spent time with last time.... I used to visit ah ma everyday when I was small....
However, when I gets older, the time I spent with her eventually gets lesser... Although I came back for quite some time, I realised I only met her for 1 times in a month...Maybe lesser.... The day before yesterday, Ah Ma told Mummy and said I did not find her this few week....
She asked why and wondered what had happened....
I don't know how Mummy answered.But,Mummy came back and warned me that I'd better go and visit Ah Ma.....
So, I visited grandma at Saturday.In fact, she's really getting older... I knew she wanted to ask me why didn't I find her, but she didn't...
She just asked what have I been doing these few weeks?? I just smiled and told her that I was busy with 'something'....But actually, I wasn't..... I feel really guilty because I did not actually think much about her....
But on the other side, she thought of me everyday.... She was actually waiting for me to visit her everyday,every week....
But, I did not show up for the whole week.... I knew I should have met her more often as I'm not always in Ipoh, but it's too late to realise NOW as I'm studying at Kampar.... Last time, she used to advice me not to get involve in relationships.... She always asked me to study hard and no girlfriend stuffs....
But now, she wants me to get married....
LOL She skipped the 'dating' process and jumped straight to this stage....
She says she wants to attend my wedding dinner and see my little baby.... She told me which type of WIFE that I should find....
She said NO to ang mohs and YES to Chinese.... She said YES to Buddhist and NO to christian. ( I WILL ignore this. )
She said NO to the lazy's and YES to the hard working's.
LOL....I cannot believe that she's still the cute little Ah Ma that I used to have. =D Honestly, I really want her to attend my future wedding dinner..... I can do nothing to speed up the time and reduce her age....
I just can't do anything to meet her more often.... Time seemed to be so limited....
I don't want her to grow any older.... But what else I still can do???
I guess it's nothing....
