I've really been thinking these few days....I begin to realise the reason I angry because of u.....I begin to realise that this year, you and I no longer communicate like the way we used to..Each time v start 2 communicate,we just like having a invisible wall in between us...Looking back at my blog....I begin to miss the times we chatted and laughed together, the fun we had while we were at Genting Trips... And compared to currently, I felt that there was a big difference... Recently we lack of fun, there were no more happiness and less conversations....Just like the missions we had to complete, and I begin to feel that the distance between us getting further and further, and having these feeling really sux....Well, to tell the truth, somehow, I'm thinking that I'm beginning to lose faith in u as a fren.....I don't know y, but I no longer could confide in u like what I used to do......Somehow, this semester, you're like a stranger to me, someone I no longer know... Maybe its just the pressure we're are facing the Degree and u are in the year 2 of Diploma.....I am no longer sure about this.. But one thing i'm sure is that the gap between us is really getting bigger and deeper.... After that event, I don even think that its possible for it to become the way it used to be....As for my apology, honestly I was never angry at u.....I was just saddened of how a friendship could turn out to be like this.....We used to share secret, have a deep talk....Exchange information and others.....But now?? These all no longer happen....As for u changing, I really dun think there's much of a need.. What i think is that u should just become u, the "you" that causes us to be the best friend in the first place.. However, if change is really needed 4 the greater good, I promise I will change too....Lastly.... I write this post based on what my heart tells me to do, and i have no other intentions than to hope that this FEELING among us will be the last.....Because I'm too really tired of it.....If anything i wrote offended u, I'm really sorry.... I really hoped everything would be the way it used to be...
朋友与爱情你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，但是，又不属于友情、爱情、亲情中的任何一种，彼此不能成为男女朋友，只能做个特别的朋友……为了什么原因你们没能在一起？也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。也许是为了自己的前程，不能承诺。也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待。也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。，彼此仍能找到塌实的感觉，仍然会保持不隶属任何一种感情的关系。但是彼此心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心因为有了彼此，心里总是被幸福塞的满满的……。即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。彼此有喜欢的人，口头上会说不吃醋，心里却会觉得胃疼……对方遇到困难时，会尽全力伸出援助之手，不会计较谁又欠了谁。对方生病了，会缴尽脑汁找药方，恨不得变成护士，陪伴在身旁……他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。每个人这辈子，心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。你宁愿这样关心他，宁愿这样关心对方的心情，总好过彼此生活在一起受伤害……总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会 吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了，常常觉得惋惜，可惜一些本来很好的友情，最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步很多的感情，都败在了现实的面前……友情可以演变成为爱情，爱情最终进化成为亲情，彼此就将友情直接进步到亲情……人 生不过百年……能牵手的时候，请别只是肩并肩，能拥抱的时候，请别只是手牵手，能在一起的时候，请别轻易分开，能成为红 颜知己，请别刻意离开！珍惜彼此之间塌实的感觉因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好。也是可惜，也是遗憾！但还有没有可能是另一种情况。~不一样的朋友~
Finally the scary week pass.....Last week after my mum operation I was elated...
'I rang round just about everyone I could think of,' I laugh...But the next day I felt nothing....I had no inclination to get out of bed and face the constant pressure...Despite my sudden disillusionment,I continued to persevere and was the brain behind a new 'way' to solve it....
But,exceptionally,in my case,I had already been looking for an escape route...'Sure it was nice but the days were ridiculous if I still stubborn'....I felt I should have been carefree at these age but the burden of responsibility was enormous...and.....I felt trapped.....I forced myself to stay on for another few week,but then nervously asked for a sabbatical.....
I admit to being a perfectionist, an attribute which saw me rise through the ranks in no time...But I realise it is a weakness too....Now I feel that like I committed 'suicide' by opting to continue my pathway...
'Izit I did wrong decision this time??' I asked myself....Yet the result show me negative.....I had to leave my 'Computer Day' to take care of my mum but would come online late in a hour.It made no difference....My dad still simply alienated me....
Few years,I had to acted like an ordinary boy which just work under their order....Now I really pissed off to them....But at the same time....I still don know izit I'm the 1 who stubborn?Or they are the 1 who really stubborn....
